And I definitely got my money's worth of fun, at least from that first one. And those Sparkly Critters, even though they can't be reused, smell bad, and have a poop feature that isn't reliable, they're the cheapest of the bunch by far. I really wanted to give Gotta Go Turdle a higher place, too, because he's so cute and is a better-designed toy than the Sparkly Critters, but I'm not sure he has the staying power to be worth $30. However, the toy is not worth the current nearly $40 price, so they fall to third.

The Pooparoos would have been in second place, mostly because the toilet is excellent (and could be used for a lot of different games) and because the figures can be used again and again. Also, the set comes with a doll, a nice outfit, and several really great accessories. And even though Tanner was the most expensive by quite a lot, she wins this category because she's the toy that I'm most likely to keep (Lina has bonded with her). I have to take into consideration the prices that I paid for each of these toys, not just their original retail value. This is a Pooparoo Surpriseroo by Mattel, and I think they first came out back in 2018: The first toy I'm going to show you lured me in with its brightly-colored toilet. So, I scooped up what I thought were four of the best poop-themed toys I could find, and here we are. You know me, once I've latched onto a theme of any kind, it's hard to stop. While researching the Cutie Tooties, I found a surprising number of other poop-themed toys.and I remembered the Sparkly Critter that was sitting in my Amazon cart.

Then, two months later when I was doing the Mischa's Toy Jewels post, I discovered the Cutie Tooties, which come inside poop-shaped containers. We giggled over those for a bit and I threw one in my cart, but didn't actually buy it right away. These little rascals exude colorful slime from various orifices and look like this: The first thing that happened is that my friend Katrina (bad influence) sent me a link to a Poopsie toy called Sparkly Critters. But for anyone who stuck around, let me take a second to explain how this, uh, special review came about. I probably lost a few readers with that intro, wouldn't you say? Sorry-I couldn't help myself. But on the other hand, why muck about with a long, constipated introduction when I could just let 'er rip? Expelling words is the whole point of a blog, after all. And I don't want to soil my reputation by pinching off my prose or plopping down any old thing. That would eliminate all of the suspense and waste this valuable writing space. Parents these days get to potty-train their kids with actual pooping flamingos! What a time to be alive.How does one introduce a review about poop-themed toys? I mean, I refuse to just dump such a steaming topic on you with no preamble. I had to make do with whatever bribery I had on hand. I have zero doubt my hard-to-potty-train son would’ve been dropping logs left and right in exchange for watching this ridiculous toy take a dump in a tiny plastic see-through toilet. This shitting flamingo is a billion times better and I am super jealous that parents today have this option. Absent the magic of this incredible pooping flamingo - which I learned via a quick Google search is called the “Little Live Gotta Go Flamingo” and was apparently a hot toy for Christmas 2020? - I was forced to use M&Ms to bribe my kids to pee and poop in the toilet. My kids are 14 and 11, long past the days of potty training. That kid was positively fucking delighted. The flamingo did it! “He poopin!!” my friend’s toddler squealed for the camera. This … was something coming out of that thing’s butt?! As I watched with a mix of fascination and horror, a beige, gooey substance oozed from the flamingo’s bum and into the miniature toilet, which I only then registered was clear so as to enable the viewing of the expulsion of said gooey substance. Okay, cool, so the flamingo is going to pretend to poop. This bright pink flamingo was sitting on a tiny plastic toilet, getting ready to take a dump. But wait … was it actually dancing? No … dear god, was that … a toilet? Yes.

Gotta go flamingo sand